Life.Whatever.

Everything seems so wrong right now.
Everything seems so hard to do right now.

It's so hard to fall asleep.
It's so hard to not to think.
Even giving up is harder.

I really don't know.

All the pressure.
All the tension.

Major breakdown?
What's more?

I don't know.
Really no idea.

What to do?
Anny clue?

If there's a U-Turn in life.
We can go back to a lot of things.
But will it remain the same?
Will there be any changes?

Now I'm starting to think.
To think that my decision to take the U-Turn.
It might be a wrong decision after all.

The Scar.
I think it's getting bigger and bigger.
The gap.
I don't know what you're thinking anymore.

Please give me a clue.
Whether I'm taking the road not taken.
Or I'm doing the right thing to do.

For now.
I'll just bear with it.

How can you?
How can you do that?
How can you make the decision without informing me?

You gave me no chance.
You gave me no time for preparation.
What do you expect?

I wasn't even ready.
You really shouldn't do that.
For now, you'll bear the consequences.

What I've been feeling for the night.
The night I've hurt somebody.
Somebody important to me.
I didn't mean it.
But, still it hurts.

I'm sorry.
Really really sorry.
Thank You.
Really really thank you.

Thank you for forgiving me.
Thank you for forgetting it.
Thank you for consoling me when I can't get over it.
Thank you.
Thank you for everything.

You must know.
You are wonderful.
It's not up to us to decide whether we deserve each other or not.
It's fate.
Keep the faith.
Like what you always say.
People touches your life, for a reason.
I'm just serving my purpose by being a very very good friend of yours.
Same thing goes to you.
You're like an angel sent to me.

Friendship is precious.
I'll remember it forever.

I'm feel so relief.
After what I've been carrying for the past night.
Thank you.

I don't know what to do to make it up.
I'm not really good at expressing myself.
I can only say.

I'm sorry.
Thank You.

I admit.
I do things without caring how others feel.
I'm sorry what I did just now.
I totally ignored how you feel.
I'm just selfish.
I'm really really sorry.
I didn't know that it actually hurts you that bad.
Thanks for telling it to me.
I'm really happy that I'm hearing it from you.
From someone I'm close to.
Someone that cares about me.

I promise.
I swear.
I promise and swear that I'll be doing this for one last time.
The very last time.
No more next time.
I promise.

I thought.
I really did.
I really thought I've got it settled.
Seems like I'm wrong.

Decisions were made.
I hoped there won't be changes.
Seems, like this time, I'm wrong after all.

I've tried.
I tried very hard.
Real hard to rip it off from my brain.
Try really hard to forget about everything.

Once again.
I failed.
Am I a loser?
No.
I don't think so.

I'm trying real hard to follow whatever my heart tells me.
It tells me too many things.
I don't know.
Really.

Should I really be ignorant this time?
Is giving up a good decision?
What will happen?
I'm just not confident enough.
You can try.
If you think you're capable of.
Build up my confidence.
Then I'll know what to do.

1200 hours Done Communication Theory and Research II.
1230 hours Done packing. Family. Lunch.
1300 hours Watching 唐山大地震.
1500 hours Officially pushing off to Kangar. Grandma's house.
1800 hours Reach Kangar.
1900 hours Dinner with family.

I miss my family.
Feel loved. Happy.
Missing You.

As what I wrote yesterday.
I was craving for Subway Sandwich in the middle of the night.
And I did something quite crazy yesterday night.
Going out to mamak at 1am and returning to hostel to continue studying at 2am.
Can't believe I actually did that.

Immediately after this morning's exam.
Drove to Subway's at E-Gate.
Bought 2 Tuna Sandwich. (1 for my roommate)

Welcome, welcome and welcome! You've said thank you for endless times.
Just remember, I'll be there for you forever.
Even when I don't have the time.
I'll just be there when you need me.
Life is just about making decisions.
Remember, 对别人仁慈，就是对自己残忍.
Don't be mean to yourself.

Again, I'm counting down to go home, or meet my family.
2 days.
Plan A and Plan B changed.

Plan C : 24th November.
Travelling back to Kangar to my grandma's place!

Feeling happy recently, I guess I'm over it.
Rounding up for this year, and this semester.

Couting down for exam to finish.
2 more days.
23rd November and 24th November.
Holiday mood kicked in since last Monday when I finished off my Communication Technology paper.
Really in no mood to study the other 2 hard core papers.

Focus. At least for 2 more days.

Now, 12 midnight, I'm craving for Subway Sandwich.